(Don’t confuse the silent treatment with no contact which is a process undertaken to protect ourselves, to give us time to heal and recover, not to punish or hurt anyone). If the silent treatment does not appear to be part of a larger pattern of abuse, a person can try the following approaches: Name the situation. We’ve reached out to his wife who says she doesn’t want to get in the middle of it. This helps no one. via GIPHY. It has a positive side and a negative one. Don’t plead with your partner. He hasn’t been home when we’ve attempted to visit him. In such situations, waiting it out can often prove to be the best approach to make the other person see the impact of their actions on you. Short spurts of silent treatment can be good for a relationship and can help avert ugly fights. However, overcoming the hurt caused by someone you love and care for isn’t easy. The best response to the Narcissist Silent Treatment game is to move forward with your common sense leading the way. The trauma of silent treatment manipulation should not cast a shadow on your future relationships. The previous example with the narcissist illustrates that whoever is giving you the silent treatment wants to cause you emotional pain. While you wait, don’t spend all your time and energy on questions like – Is the silent treatment immature? How To Respond To Narcissistic Silent Treatment. Giving someone the silent treatment can be tough when it's someone you're typically close to, but you can successfully shut them out by being firm and adjusting your schedule. Sometimes, going silent may … This helps no one. Psychologist Shefali Batra perfectly sums up ways to respond to the silent treatment, “Silent treatment can be dealt with by first understanding the psychology and dynamics behind it. I can’t tell you how many times a day I just wish people could read my mind so I didn’t have to actually express my feelings. Don’t call back or text back. How do you respond to the silent treatment. Sometimes there’s really nothing to say. Your partner may not be ready for a conversation but that doesn’t mean you have to avoid critical questions too. If it’s harmless attention-seeking, you can give your partner some attention and move on. If you are currently seeking answers on how to respond to the silent treatment, then you already know how hurtful and annoying it can be. Ensure to be polite. Follow us at: @2020 - All Right Reserved. It makes you feel invisible, unworthy, and maybe a little bit sad or angry. The silent treatment in a relationship is a form of emotional abuse. If you are interested in online counseling, Dr. Carter has a sponsor who can assist. However, this approach only works best when an emotional hurdle is triggering the behaviour. The silent treatment is a common pattern of conflict for committed, romantic couples, and it can be damaging if left unaddressed. It's something I expect from my children, not my SO. Dig Deep Into the Whys of the Situation Never assume that you know … It is a form of abuse that hampers the relationship because it is triggered by imbalance, passive aggression, and irrationality. Related Reading: Love Me Best! Before you do anything, you should give the angry party some space and time alone so that they can be with their feelings. It communicates a ton without saying a word, conveying things like anger, frustration, bitterness, manipulation, resignation, disappointment, and sorrow. Counsellor Snigdha Mishra, a psychotherapist by training, tells us what it is and how to identify it, “Silent treatment in a relationship can be a tricky one. Communication is the fuel that keeps the fire in a relationship burning. Take Time to Cool Off During a time of silence both partners should pause to reflect on what led up to the silent treatment episode, especially if it was preceded by an argument, fight, or emotional outburst. And one that can be blurred easily. The crux of this approach is to use positive reinforcement through ‘I’ statements instead of blame-shifting through ‘You’ remarks. But it will only set a toxic a ‘who blinks first’ game in motion. Realize the chronic use of the silent treatment is Emotional Abuse. On the bright side, it’s not a problem that cannot be tackled. Here are a few tips on how to deal with it. When having to deal with the silent treatment, it can be a very draining and painful experience. Not only will you feel light and baggage-free but the act will also thaw the ice between you and your partner. It is important to break this communication pattern, and there are constructive ways to respond and, hopefully, find a way to move forward that both of you can agree on. It’s that simple. Remember there is no substitute for effective communication in a relationship. Do not respond to silent treatment with silent treatment. Make it a point to keep your demeanour calm and gentle, and make the other person feel comfortable with pursuing the conversation. // comments all comments on healingdaybyday channel are held back for review and moderated!!!! Call them out on it instead of taking it quietly. If this is just the first time that your partner is giving you a silent treatment, be calm and kind instead of reacting negatively. At this point, it is also important to reflect on whether this equation is taking a toll on your body and mind? In this video, I go into why narcissists use the silent treatment and how to respond to it. Usually, the silent treatment has been ingrained in an individual's personality as a way to cope with difficult emotions, according to the staff at eHarmony. 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